You may have heard of this new internet thing called "Twitter". If you haven't, you can think of it as a global chatroom, only people can't hide in their mother's basement behind usernames like "SuperGangstaCuz" and expect people not to find out their true identity.
I'm on Twitter, so are the rest of the staff at Los That (@marcusjnorris, @A_Ramsey, and @lostherod, follow accordingly). It takes some getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, it can be pretty entertaining. People tend to speak freely, with less fear of being politically correct. Most "tweets" consist of people one of four categories:
A.) The Stand-up Comic Tweet
B.) The Inspirational Tweet
C.) The Breaking News Tweet
D.) The We're All Watching the Same Thing on Television Tweet
E.) The How to Lose Friends and Alienate People Tweet
The "Category E" tweets happen more times than you'd think, given the socially network'd time we live in. What happens is tweeterers forget that tweets don't always convey the proper tweeting context (also known as tweetext) and once one tweets a tweet that's a tad bit off-color, it stays in the tweetisphere forever, like a bad coffee fart in a room with no windows.
This weekend, the sports world was treated to a Category E Tweets. Carmelo Anthony's Twitter account posted an offer of $5,000 to anyone willing to "slap the s***" out of Kat Stacks "pigeon faced" self.
Now, you may be asking yourself, "What or who is Kat Stacks, and why would an NBA player want to slap the s*** out of one?". Andrea Herrera, aka "Kat Stacks", is a professional groupie, who sent Anthony some late night tweets that caught the attention of his wife, La La Vasquez. She responded the way any wife would, by putting the pressure on the husband (Anthony) to make Stacks stop...through Twitter. (Uh oh)
So Anthony does what he did, and ends up complicating more of his already fractured reputation. (Remember this, and that? He is still trying to make people forget this. And of course, there was that whole "brawl/sucker punch".)
He speaks of hitting a woman, publicly, and then follows that with showing a pic of the money. Of course he later came out and said his account was hacked, and it wasn't him, blah blah, yeah whatever.
Even worse news for Anthony, Stacks has stated, via Twitter, that she's filed a police report on him. So he may be the first million dollar athlete to go to jail for assault with a tweetly weapon.
The moral of the story is best said by Confucius, via Jay-Z in "The Takeover": "A wise man told me, don't argue with fools, because people from a distance can't tell who is who. So stop with that childish s---, n---- I'm grown..."
Melo, you're in the middle of a trade request, and you're trying to get a team to pay you $20 million a year. Stop Twitter beefing with groupies. Please.
As for the Los That Links
- Manny says "Two fangas, sideways!" to Los Angeles.
- The USA basketball team survives a scare against Brazil.
- Glenn Beck held a special rally at the Washington Monument for "Special Americans" (whatever that means), and Tony LaRussa showed up with Albert Pujols. Former LaRussa BFF, and "Friday Night Lights" author Buzz Bissinger was none too happy about it.
- Troy Polamalu has his luscious locks insured for $1 million (Pause).
- Chris Bosh is getting hitched.
- I'm amazed, and disappointed, at the restraint of the guy in the red shirt.